This happened in Toronto when I was in High School, back in 1986. My best friend Tracy and I were sitting around in the courtyard at our housing block after school, smoking Cigarettes. It was early spring and a sunny afternoon and we were bored. We saw my neighbour Nathan walking home so we started in on him.
“Hey Nathan” we called out to him and he ignored us.
“Come over here.” Tracy called out and Nathan paused in his tracks.
We knew Nathan from school as he is in our same grade. I have last period English class with him.
“What do you want?” Nathan asked as he walked over suspicious of us.
“Is your mom home yet?” Tracy asked.
“No, why?” he said.
“We want to come over.” I said with an evil smile followed by a drag of my cigarette.
“Why?” he asked.
“We want to play.” Tracy said in a cheeky tone. You could tell Nathan was really nervous, but he nodded and we followed him back to his apartment.
Nathan is a quiet kid, he studies a lot more than other kids in the neighbourhood and does well in school. He is not as social and mostly keeps to himself. Tracy and I talked about doing this for a while now, kind of as a joke I guess and figured Nathan would be quit about what we wanted to do. We got back to his apartment and his little brother was home watching TV.
“Go outside and play.” Nathan told him and he protested a bit but grabbed his jacket and went out.
“So what do you guys want to do?” he asked and Tracy and I looked at each other with huge smiles on our faces.
“Nathan.” Tracy said and paused. “We both are going to give you head.” She said straight to the point. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor.
“Go to the bathroom and wash yourself off and get into some clean underwear and meet us back in your bedroom.” I told him.
He got up and ran off to his room and we could hear him rummaging through it. I’ve been over before and knew he shared his room with his little brother as it is a small 2 bedroom apartment they lived in with their mom. We heard him run off into the bathroom and heard the water running and we looked at each other laughing.
“Ready.” Tracy asked me.
“Yep.” I said, and we both got up and made our way to his bedroom and sat down on his bed.
We heard the water stop and the bathroom door open and watched to the bedroom door for Nathan. He came around the corner wearing a white t-shirt and blue boxer shorts. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an approaching car, you could tell he was really nervous.
“Come lie down on the bed.” Tracy said. “But keep your feet on the floor in front.”
Nathan came over and sat on the bed between us, and laid back.
“Put a pillow over your head and no peeking.” I told him and he reached back for a pillow covering his face. Tracy and I looked at each other almost laughing in hysterics. We talked about doing this and I couldn’t believe we were actually going through with it.
We moved in closer and I took the lead and slid his boxers down. We took a close look for the first time. I had seen one a couple of times before but only at a glance really so this was the first time for me to ‘play around’ so to speak.
Tracy was the first to touch it and kind of held it in her fingers holding it up. I wouldn’t really describe it as being hard yet. So I reached to grab it and squeezed it in my hand for a moment and Nathan let out a moan…..
I dropped it immediately and started laughing, Tracy started laughing too and we fell to the floor laughing for a moment and tried to calm down….
“OK.” Tracy said. “ I’ll go first.” And she got up and sat back on the bed. I watched her slide onto the bed and pull her long brown hair back out-of-the-way as she moved in.
I looked over to watch and she was sitting over him and looking at it. She picked it up and held it, and went in and put her mouth around it. My jaw dropped watching. How did she know what to do? was all I could think. We pretended to do this before like with a popsicle, but this time it was for real.
I watched her as her head went up and down and she slowed down a bit running her lips over the end of it, and I could see him trembling.
“OK now your turn.” She said as she stopped, putting her head up flicking her hair back over her shoulders and slid off the bed and onto the floor next to me.
I got up and sat on the edge of the bed. I was so nervous I had butterflies in my stomach. I picked it up and it was a lot harder now then it was a moment ago. I moved in and put my lips around it not really knowing what I was doing. I moved my head up and down sliding my lips over it but pressed my tongue down on the bottom of my mouth to avoid making contact with it. My long blond hair was falling forward around me onto Nathans chest, and made a kind of curtain around my face blocking the view from Tracy seeing anything, which made me feel more comfortable. I just went through the motions of it for about half a minute just so I could say that I did this but didn’t really get into it.
After about 30 seconds I stopped and let it down softly and looked over to Tracy with a smile as I flicked my hair back. She was laughing and we both got up.
“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this.” I said as we left his room.
We ran out of the apartment to the park and jumped on the swings laughing.
“Oh my god, did you see how it grew?” I said.
“I guess it is true what they say about a hard-on.” Tracy said.
We were both so excited and we sat in the swings for the next hour talking about what we just did. This was a first for us.
The next day we went to school and tried to act normal, like nothing happened. We weren’t going to tell anyone about what happened and just keep it to ourselves. It didn’t take long though as around 11am, a girl named Samantha came running up to me in the hall….
“Is it true that you and Tracy had sex with Nathan last night?” she asked.
“What! Where did you hear that?“ I said.
“Bobby told me.” She said looking for an answer.
‘Shit’ I thought to myself. Bobby is Nathan’s cousin. He told Bobby already?
“What you hear?” I asked.
“Bobby said that you and Tracy took turns having sex with Nathan at his house after school.” She said.
“That’s bullshit.” I said. “Nothing happened, I don’t know where this shit is coming from.” I said and walked away. I had to go find Tracy. A rumour had started and it was already way over exaggerated.
I walked quickly and found Tracy at her locker.
“Nathan told Bobby.” I said to her.
“I know.” She said. “I heard.”
“Samantha was asking me about it.” I said. “I told her nothing happened.”
“Good,” Tracy said. “Keep telling people that, we’ll get even with Nathan later.”
I had English class that afternoon and Nathan was in my class. I was so angry that when I got to class I gave him the dirtiest look. One of the other kids saw me doing this and blurted out “Lovers Quarrel???” And others in the class started laughing.
FUUUUUCK I wanted to yell out. I sat down quickly at my chair so embarrassed…..I wanted to wring Nathan’s little neck for this.
“Calm Down people,” Mrs Thompson said as she entered the class to quiet everyone down and start the lesson. At least I get a reprieve for the moment.
After school I hooked up with Tracy as usual and we got on the subway to go back to my place. We didn’t hang out in the courtyard as usual but went back to my apartment instead and hung out in my bedroom.
“I can’t believe he told his cousin,” I said. “Now everyone knows.”
“It doesn’t matter as it is our word against his, we just have to keep denying it ever happened and it will blow over in no time, you’ll see.” Tracy said.
“I suppose.” I said and decided to stop thinking about it.
Later that night Tracy went home when my dad came home from work. He is a tow truck driver and comes and goes quite frequently. My mom lives in Montreal with her new husband and my two step brothers. I get to visit them a few times a year and I like having little brothers.
My Dad comes and goes a lot so he usually makes it home for dinner to check up on me before going back out again. Only this time we were sitting down to dinner when the phone rang.
Dad answered it and I wasn’t really paying attention at first thinking it was a call from his dispatch for a job, until my dad started to sound kind of upset.
“When did this happen?” He said raising his voice. “Yesterday? After School?”
Oh Shit….I thought to myself. That’s Nathan’s fucking Mother on the phone I bet. My heart began pounding really fast and I nearly shit my pants as I listened to my dad talking.
“OK, I will tell her, OK, OK, Thanks for calling, Thanks for letting me know…All right, Good-bye then.” and he hung up.
He was looking straight at me with a mean look on his face.
“That was Nathan’s mom.” He said. “She says you and Tracy were over their after school yesterday.” He said giving a pause, “And you know what she said?”
I broke down and started crying immediately. “I’m sorry daddy.” I said.
“Go to your room, we’ll talk later.” He said and I went off.
I went to my room and climbed into bed and cried for a few minutes, that quickly turned to anger. Nathan told Bobby and Bobby must have been like a little fucking Canary and told everyone. He must have told his brothers and his parents found out, then they called Nathan’s mom and told her and that is how she found out, now even Dad knows about it too. I was so upset at Nathan.
Later Dad came into my room and wasn’t as mad as I thought he would be. He just wanted to hear my side of the story. I told him Tracy and I just went over and we were like 5 minutes, we just wanted to explore and have a little look was all. Nothing else.
“Did he touch either of you.” He asked and I said “no.”
“Are you sure?” He asked
“He didn’t touch either of us.” I assured him.
“OK” dad said. “Thanks for being honest with me. Nathan’s mom says she doesn’t want you or Tracy over their any more, and I don’t want you over their any more either.”
And that was it. I thought he was going to be much worse but he wasn’t After that he made a call to his mom (my grandma) and told her he was worried about me and if I could go and stay with them for the weekend. “It would be good to get her out of the city” was what he told her. “Thanks” he said and hung up the phone.
He went off to work to do a late shift as he usually does so I just watched TV. It was Thursday and my favourite TV night, Cosby Show, followed by Family ties, then Cheers and Night Court. I liked Thursday Nights. Afterwards I went to bed.
Friday after school I took the subway home with Tracy as usual. Told her I was heading up north to spend the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. When I got home Gran was there waiting for me. She let herself in and had been cleaning the apartment for a while, you could tell. She likes to take care of things for Dad. I went to my bedroom to pack a bag for the weekend.
“Right, so are you ready for the weekend?” She said and I nodded yes. “Then we are off.” She said with a smile.
Gran lives an hour north of the city in a really nice neighbourhood, much better than the low-income projects where Dad and I live, so it was great to get out of the old hood for the weekend.
On the drive to grans she started talking.
“So your dad tells me you and your friend was ‘experimenting’ with a boy this week.” She said.
Ah for fuck sakes I thought to myself, is there anyone that doesn’t know at this point.
“You girls are a little too quick to grow up sometimes and I know with peer pressure and all it can be a little tough growing up at times.”
Here we go with the lecture I thought to myself, half tuning her out. She kept going on about how a girl should be respectable, and respect themselves, and their bodies and blah blah blah…… I would rather stab myself in the eye then listen to another word of this crap from her.
The drive took what felt like an eternity with more words like integrity being thrown at me. She was saying how she was going to teach me to be a better person this weekend and learn respect for myself and others and all I could think was how she had her work cut out for her.
We got to grans house and it was getting late. So Gran decided it best that we all go out for dinner. Gran didn’t approve of what I was wearing from school that day and had some old clothes that my Aunt used to wear when she was younger. She found an old floral dress with long sleeves and puffy shoulders, and a pair of white leather saddle shoes and told me to put them on.
I changed into the dress and put the shoes on and had a look in the mirror. I hated the dress on me but didn’t put up a fight. There was no point as no one knew me in this town any ways So we went out to dinner. She told me at dinner we were going to go shopping tomorrow and get a haircut. It was time to dress more appropriately for a girl my age and a more suitable haircut is required. I couldn’t care less about the clothes as I can always ditch them when I get back to Toronto but the Haircut part is what scared the shit out of me. I loved my long blonde hair the way it was.
After dinner we went back to Grans and I watched TV. Friday Night Television was Webster, followed by Mr Belvedere, then Knight Rider at 9:00. After Knight Rider was over Gran said I had to go to bed. I put up a fight as I wanted to see Miami Vice at 10:00 but she wouldn’t let me.
“We got a big day tomorrow so get rested up dear.” She told me, which made me feel like I was a little kid again. I didn’t argue and just went up to bed.
It is comforting being in this house as it is a quite suburb. I was sleeping in my aunt’s old room and my dad’s old room was next door. I imagined them playing around when they were kids in these old rooms, and how different it was for them. Our neighbourhood in the city is considered not very safe, even when you order a pizza they don’t deliver to our neighbourhood as they’ve been robbed too many times, and you would never see a taxi where I live. So it is very different being up here and comforting for me.
I woke up the next morning to the smell of Bacon through the house and it made my stomach growl. I slipped out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen to see Gran cooking up scrambled eggs and bacon with toast. Grandpa was at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee reading the paper.
“Good Morning Sunshine” Grandpa said as I entered.
“Oh there she is.” Grandma said with a smile looking over from her cooking.
“Good Morning.” I said.
“Did you sleep OK Dear?” Gran said and I nodded yes sitting down at the table and Gran came over pouring me a cup of Orange Juice.
She made me a plate of Eggs, Bacon and Toast and it must have been the best breakfast I ever had. On the occasional Sunday Mornings Dad and I would make breakfast together but never like this.
“Eat up dear, I’ve made a hair appointment for you at 10:00 this morning so we’ll have to leave in half an hour.” She said.
“OK.” I said not even thinking about it. All I knew was I thought I died and gone to heaven that morning.
After breakfast I went upstairs to change, putting on a Smiths t-shirt and some black jeans and my Cherry Red Doc Marten boots. I came back downstairs to go and Gran was shocked.
“What are you wearing??? And Who are these Smiths???” She said.
“They are a band from England.” I told her. She was looking closer at my t-shirt now.
“Meat Is Murder!!!” She said shockingly reading the slogan off my t-shirt. “I most certainly think not, and you certainly didn’t think so 5 minutes ago when you were shovelling down all that bacon. Go upstairs and put something else on.”
I went upstairs and she followed me into my aunt’s room. She went straight into the closet rummaging through all the old dresses again.
“Here, put this one on.” She said tossing a blue and yellow dress on the bed. “And you can wear the same shoes you wore last night.” She said as she walked out of the room.
I slid my t-shirt off and slid the dress over my shoulders….Oh fuck I thought to myself, this dress is made of fucking polyester. The dress slid down around my body and the polyester felt scratchy on my skin. I kicked off my Docs and slid my jeans off from underneath the dress. I put the saddle shoes back on again and went over to the mirror to take a look. I looked way out of place as this dress looked like it was from the 1970’s.
I pulled my long blonde hair over my shoulders to cover the dress as much as possible thinking my hair took some of the attention away from the dress. So I decided to just wear it, besides Gran made a killer breakfast so let’s just do things her way for today. I went back downstairs and Gran was at the front door waiting for me.
“That’s much better dear….Remember what I was saying about self-respect, no self-respecting girl walks around with Meat Is Murder written on her clothes.”
I followed her out to the car and we drove a few blocks down to a strip mall. She parked and we got out walking towards a shop called Carla’s Beauty Salon. Gran was a few paces in front of me so I followed her to the shop and she opened the door for me. I went in first and she followed.
The salon was really dated. It looked like it was from the 1960’s with lots of pastel colours and old equipment. It had a line of old Dryer Hoods that were behind pink chairs. We took a seat on an old green pastel coloured vinyl sofa in the waiting area.
“Hello Mrs Davis.” A stylist said as she approached the waiting area.
“Hello Carla,” Gran said back, “This is my Grand-daughter Tanya I was telling you about over the phone.”
“Of course.” Carla said. “Nice to meet you, c’mon in.” She said, and we got up and came into the salon.
“Take a seat right here.” Carla said turning a salon chair to face me and I sat down in it. She spun the chair around to face the mirror and I sat they’re looking at my reflection. The chair had pink vinyl upholstery that rubbed against the polyester dress I was wearing pressing it into my skin.
“So what are we doing today?” Carla asked.
“She needs a good clean-up,” Gran said. “something more, respectable for a girl her age.”
“OK” Carla said having a closer look at my hair. “Like a bob perhaps.”
“Can you do something that shows her face a little more?” Gran said.
“Certainly,” Carla said reaching for a hairstyle consultation book and starting rifling through the pages.
“This haircut here is quite becoming don’t you think.” She said showing a page, “Shows off the face quite nicely.” She said pointing to a page to gran and she smiled and nodded with approval.
“Yes,” Gran said. “that one will suit her just fine Carla.”
“Can I see?” I asked as I was trying to look over and Carla tilted the book for me to see what they were looking at.
My heart skipped a beat seeing the picture as they were looking at what is best described as one of the most hideous looking bowl-cuts I have ever seen. The bangs were cut above the eyebrows and the sides sloped at an angle going down towards the back just exposing the ear-lobes…
“No way.” I said looking at it.
“Now dear you need a good haircut and this one is nice and suitable and will show off your face so you are not hiding behind all that hair.” Gran said.
“No way.” I said in shock looking at the picture.
“Let’s not make a fuss.” Carla said standing over me placing a hand on my shoulder to try to calm me down. “For now I’ll just take you over and wash your hair for you, so no cutting or anything, were just going to wash your hair, OK. Then after we can look at doing a haircut for you that will be more suitable for you….OK”
“I just don’t want it cut like that picture.” I told her
“I never said I was going to cut it that way.” She told me. “For now I am just going to wash your hair…..Honestly, such a fuss???” she said shaking her head.
She slowly spun me around so I was facing toward where the shampoo basins were and she put her hand softly on my shoulder again. “Let’s go sweetie, I’ll just do a nice shampoo and conditioner for you alright?”
I quietly stood up and she kept her hand on my shoulder guiding me over to the basins. “Now just take a seat at the first one right here.” She said and I sat down.
She took a towel putting it over my shoulder and I could feel her pull my long hair from under it and into the basin. She put her hand softly on the back of my head and slowly guided my back into the basin and turned the water on. I felt the water rinse through my hair and started to relax. It had been years since my last haircut as I keep it very long and rarely get it cut. I did like the treatment they give you though.
She pumped some shampoo and lathered it into my hair and it smelled like strawberries. I liked the way it smelled and how it felt so I closed my eyes to relax. She put the water back on to rinse the shampoo off and pumped some conditioner in her hands, putting it through my hair. This time the conditioner smelt more like Flowers. She rinsed off the conditioner and tilted my head up, catching my hair with a towel to towel dry it. I liked the way this felt as well.
“OK come with me.” She said and I followed her back to her station. She sat me down and slid a cape over me fastening it around my neck. She grabbed a large black wide tooth comb and started combing my long hair out starting from the ends and worked her way to the roots. When she was done my hair was neatly combed back over my head.
“Right.” She said. “I am going to talk you through this so you will be comfortable with what I am doing. First thing I am going to do is just cut a fringe so you can see what that looks like, and then we can go from there….OK” she said with a big smile.
“I just don’t want it like that picture.” I said again very nervously
“I know,” Carla said. “I didn’t say I was going to cut it like the picture, what I said was I am just going to cut you a fringe so you can see what that looks like on you…OK”
I didn’t say anything as I was too nervous. She reached for a black comb, some scissors and some hair clips and started sectioning off my bangs, taking the long hair on top back out of the way. She combed my bangs straight forward over my face and they reached all the way down past my chin.
“Now look up.” She said as she gently repositioned my head upwards with her hand on top and I closed my eyes. “I will cut the fringe on the long side and we can straighten them up from there OK.”
“OK” I said and took a deep breath.
“Ready.” She said and I nodded.
I heard the scissors close into my hair….SNIP, they moved across and closed into the next section cutting my bangs. I opened my eyes to take a look and my bangs were cut just past my eyebrows reaching to the top of my eyes. Carla stood back to let me have a look.
“How is that?” she asked me, I turned my head side to side and gave a smile. “That’s not so bad now is it?” she asked again with a reassuring smile.
“It’s fine.” I said looking at my new fringe.
“OK, now we’ll just shape them up a little more OK.” Carla said.
“OK” I said feeling a little more at ease.
She came back in sectioning off more hair and combing it forward. I looked up as she pinned my hair back and the new section fell over my face. I closed my eyes again and she came in with the scissors…SNIP SNIP SNIP, they worked their way across my new fringe. I opened my eyes. My fringe was a bit heavier now and she took it a little shorter so they sat just to my eyebrows.
“See isn’t that starting to look better already?” Carla asked. Gran got up and walked over to take a closer look.
“Now I can see her beautiful face, she is an angel underneath all that hair.” Gran said as she was looking on and I just smiled.
“So I can just add a little more hair to your fringe then so it frames it better.” Carla said and I nodded nervously. “Just relax now as this is looking better and better already.” She said as she stated combing out another, much larger section.
She had this next section combed forward and the rest of my hair pinned back and I was starting to tremble with nerves seeing how much more hair she was going to cut.
“Head up sweetie.” She said as she softly tilted my head up with her hand on my head, “That’s it.” She said and I just took in a deep breath and closed my eyes.
I felt her combing out my hair and finally heard the scissors cut away at different places around my face. A snip here and a snip there and could hear long locks of hair coming off and sliding down the cape. I opened my eyes to see and Carla was standing right in front of me, blocking my view of the mirror.
“That’s a good girl,” She said as I looked up at her. “Now just tilt your head to the side a little for me.” She said as she guided my head over to the left still standing in front of me blocking my view.
I felt the scissors slide up my cheek bones towards my temples and heard them close as they moved upwards towards my bangs…snip snip snip, and I could see locks of my hair sliding down the cape in my peripheral vision.
She tilted my head the other over to the right and I felt as she made a section on the other side, and the scissors moved in following the same patch up my cheekbone towards my temple…Snip Snip Snip.
She adjusted my head so it was straight again and I could feel her combing more of my hair forward. She was still standing between me and the mirror blocking my view, so I sat there very nervously looking into the front of her blouse thinking how ugly she was.
She came in with the scissors so I closed my eyes again and heard them snipping away all around the front of my face and could feel this haircut starting to frame my face. This was when I realized she was beginning to cut it exactly like the picture and was just easing me into it all along. She was tricking me into it more like it.
She finished cutting and stepped to the side and I could finally see my reflection, and just as I thought. My hair was starting to take shape of that hideous bowl-cut, but now it was past the point of no return as most of the front of my hair has already been cut, leaving just the back long. I felt heartbroken looking at my reflection knowing it was now too late.
“There we go, now it’s starting to take shape already.” Carla said
“Perfect” Gran said with a smile standing behind me as she was looking on.
I didn’t say anything anymore as she tilted my head forward to finish up the haircut on me. She sectioned off the back and I felt the scissors sliding across the back of my neck and Snip, Snip Snip, they worked their way across the back taking off all my long hair.
She sectioned off one section at a time on the back and swiftly chopped it off until all my long hair was gone. She then tilted my head straight over to the left and neatly cut the line in the haircut from the back all the way over my earlobe, up my cheek and to my temple where the line met my bangs.
She tilted my head over to the right and cut the left side exactly the same way until the haircut was a perfect shape around my head. She tilted my head up again and trimmed away at my bangs a little more until they were a more rounded shape with the sides and there were cut above my eyebrows completely exposing them now.
She finally finished cutting now and put the comb and scissors down and grabbed the hair-dryer At first she was just running her fingers through my hair with the hair dryer to get more of the wetness out of it but eventually picked up a hairbrush and started styling it my turning the ends under all away around the perimeter of the haircut. The more she brushed with the brush and hairdryer the more volume she got out of it with the ends turned perfectly under all the way around. I was frustrated watching this bowl-shape forming around my head.
Carla put the brush and dryer down and grabbed a bottle of hairspray and gave it a light spray to hold the shape. She then took a mirror and stood behind me to reveal the haircut from the back. I wanted to burst into tears looking at it and I couldn’t believe this was me. My long blonde hair was all over the floor now and I had a little blonde Mushroom Cut now with my hair a puffed up and curled under.
“Don’t worry sweetie, you’ll get used to it.” she said as she put the mirror back. She loosened the cape and dusted my neck off with a dusting brush and I felt so bare, with my neck and cheeks fully exposed. Gran came over standing over me to take a closer look.
“That’s much better.” She said with a smile. “How do you like it?” She asked me.
“It’s too short.” Was all I could say.
“ She’ll get used to it.” Carla said one more time.
I got up and walked back to the front of the salon as Gran paid for the haircut. We went out together and it felt so bizarre with the sun shining on my cheeks and on my neck with no hair to cover me any more and the feeling of the breeze on my neck.
Next we got in the car for what ended up being hours of shopping for clothes I absolutely hated. Little dresses and shoes and the sort of thing you would wear to church. I was annoyed but I didn’t put up much of a fight as it wasn’t worth it. I knew I can just toss the clothes into the back of my closet when I get home, if anything this is just Gran wasting money as I was never going to wear any of these outfits.
By the time we got back to Grans that night and with my new clothes Gran had my wearing I felt like a Norman Rockwell painting and not a girl from the hood any more If my friends from the hood saw me like this I would never see the light of day.
That Saturday Night we sat around the living room where Gran taught me how to play Cribbage for the first time. We watched Gimme A Break and Facts of Life followed by The Golden Girls on the TV that night as we played. I wasn’t upset with her any more but still hated my haircut so something was going to have to be done about that before I got back to school. I’d figure it out later and not worry about it for now.
We stayed up later and watched The Love Boat which was rare for me as I am usually out causing trouble in the Neighbourhood on a Saturday Night with Tracy. I was wondering what she was up to tonight and what she was going to say about my hair when I get back. I needed her advice on what to do with it.
The next morning Grandma made breakfast again, this time Waffles. After Grandpa and Grandma and I went to church and spent the afternoon walking through a park and seeing the blossoms and tulips come out. This was the sort of day I rarely got.
Later Dad drove up to get me and we all had a Sunday dinner together. He nearly fell over when he saw me dressed up in one of my new dresses and my new haircut.
“What did you do with my Daughter???” He said as he saw me. He liked it but I was going to give him an earful on the ride home about it.
After dinner we left for the drive back home and I let him have it. “What was the big idea behind all of that??? You just can’t take a girl out of the hood and drop her off in the suburbs like that, if my friends saw me like this I would never be allowed to show me face in public again.
“It’s not that bad.” He said.
“NOT THAT BAD….I look like a freakin Mushroom for fucks sake.”
“Yeah you kind of do.” He said with a laugh and I punched him in the shoulder as hard as I could.
“Look, I just wanted you to get away from the city and spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa as I was getting worried about you is all. I asked her to teach you some respect but I didn’t think she was going to do all that to you, well I should have known I guess as she is a persistent one. Don’t worry, I had my share of bad haircuts growing up too, and so did you aunt.” He said laughing.
“It’s not funny.” I said.
“I think it will do you some good actually.” He said.
“ I’m not going to school like this.” I told him.
“I don’t care what you wear but you are not missing school because of a haircut.”
“Yes I am.”
“Oh no you’re not, even if I have to take you there myself, I’ll even stand outside your classes to make sure you go.”
“You big meanie.” I called him and pouted with my arms crossed.
“That’s right.” He said with a smile. “Mwa ha ha ha haaa.” He belted out an evil laugh to show it and I laughed back.
“By the way, I talked to Nathan yesterday.” Dad said
“Oh shit, you didn’t.”
“No no no, nothing like that. We just talked.”
“What you say.”
“Made sure he understood I wasn’t upset with him, well I intimidated him just a little, but he is a good kid, not much like him on our block so best to look after those ones you know. He is a smart kid. He said.
“Who are you, and what have you done with my father?” I said with a laugh.
“I know, you would have thought I would have beaten the kid to a pulp, well some of those other kids I would have. Were all good though, I just think you should go talk to him as things may not be what they seem to you right now is all.”
“Thank-you Daddy.” I said squeezing his arm where I punched him. I felt a lot better now.
The next day I got up and got ready for school I put on my Smiths, Meat Is Murder t-shirt as a Fuck-You to Gran and whatever that stupid lesson about clothes she was trying to teach me. I slid on my black Levis Jeans and my Doc Martin boots to finish off the look.
I sat in front of my mirror trying to figure out what to do with my hair and decided it wasn’t so bad. It was kind of a retro look but I ruffled it up a bit with my fingers so it didn’t sit so bowl-like. There wasn’t much I could do with it as it would just fall back into its bowl-like shape again. So I just kind of got into the habit of ruffling it up here and there to break up the shape as much as I could.
I left to walk to the subway to meet Tracy as usual and she was outside smoking a cigarette.
“Gimme one of those.” I said as I came up behind her. Tracy turned around and saw me.
“Holy shit, what happened to your hair???” She yelled out.
“You like it?” I asked as I ruffled it.
“It’s so short.” She said reaching up to feel it.
“I know, my Gran made me get a haircut.” I said taking a cigarette from Tracy and taking a light from her lighter and took a drag. “It’s not so bad.” I said as I exhaled. “But I am thinking of cutting it even shorter, what do you think?”
“Go for it.” Tracy said. “It is already this short so might as well.”
“Yea the lady that cut it was kind of crap as this was out in the suburbs, so I am thinking of just going downtown and getting something better.” I said. “Want to go downtown with me for a haircut after school?”
“Hell Yea.” Tracy said.
We finished our cigarettes and went into the subway to head to school. It was awkward walking through the halls as I could feel everyone turning their heads to look at me. I just wanted to scream walking the hallways at school. When I got to my locker Nathan was waiting for me.
“What the fuck do you want?” I said as I was opening my locker.
“Look, we need to talk.” He said.
“I have nothing to say to you.” I told him.
“Let me explain what happened.” He said.
I slammed my locker shut and started walking ignoring him.
“I didn’t tell anyone what happened.” He said and I stopped walking and turned around.
“Then how the fuck does everyone know then.” I said.
“My little brother was spying from outside, remember I told him to go outside and play?” He said.
I rolled my eyes shaking my head….”Little fucker.” I said.
“I just wanted you to know that it wasn’t me that said anything and I could never do something like that to you,” he said. “and I am sorry.”
“Well it doesn’t matter now I suppose, damage is already done…I didn’t realize.” I said and gave him a hug.
We hugged for just a moment when a kid walking past yelled out “Get A Room!!!”
I turned and gave him the finger mouthing the words “FUCK-OFF”
“I really am sorry.” Nathan said one more time.
“Like I said it doesn’t matter, damage is already done. So best you can do right now is walk me to class, OK.” I said holding my hand out for him and he held it as we walked.
“You got a haircut.” He said as we walked.
“That’s your fault too by the way.” I said. “My Gran made my cut it, she was trying to teach me to be a more respectable girl.” I said sarcastically
“ I’m so very sorry about all of this.” He said again as he slowed his pace and we stopped. “I wish I could change everything for you.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I said looking into his eyes. “It’s already been done so no point worrying about it. Tracy and I are going after school to get it fixed and you are welcome to come too if you like?”
“I’d love to.” He said and we started walking again. We got to my first period class and I kissed him on the cheek. “See you at English.” I said and went into class.
School was annoying with the ‘Oh you got a haircut’ comments , and the condescending, “That looks really good on you.” that I just wanted to punch everyone that said that. I couldn’t wait for school to finish so we could go downtown and get it cut properly.
It got worse when I saw Samantha. She belted out with laughter when she saw me. “Was that your punishment?” she said laughing at me. “Your new haircut makes you look like a dickhead.” She said.
“Fuck-off.” I told her.
“No seriously, look at it.” She said. “You look exactly like a fucking dickhead.” She said laughing. “It has the exact same shape. Look everyone, the perfect punishment for sucking cock.” She yelled out laughing. “A dickhead haircut, that way everyone will know what you did.”
I wanted to punch her so badly but just walked off. She told everyone and people started calling me dickhead for a while. It was so embarrassing. By the time I got to English the rumour was all over the place. The kid that said “Get A Room” last week yelled “DickHead” when I walked into the class. Nathan stood up and told him to ‘shut the fuck up..” I loved him for standing up for me.
After class we met Tracy at her locker and told her Nathan wanted to come….
“Really!” She said laughing. “Why?”
“Because I want him to, and you don’t get to touch him any more, he’s off limits to you now.” I said.
“OKAY.” She said sarcastically.
Nathan dropped his stuff off at his locker and we jumped on the subway downtown. We got off at Yonge Street and started walking south. There was a funky hair salon that I wanted to go to, they always had loud music blasting out of there when you walked past.
We found the place and went inside to talk to the guy in the front, he had long messy black hair and had on black eyeliner, “How much for a haircut?” I yelled out to be heard over the music.
“Fifteen Dollars” the guy said with a thick English accent.
We stepped off to the side “How much money have we got?” I asked and we added up all our money together. Between Tracy and I we had $8,
“How much money you got Nathan?” I asked and he said nothing shaking his head….
“Fuckit… I’m going to pan for it.” I said and went out to the street corner with them following me.
“Spare any change…. I am so huuungry.” I would say to the people walking past. Every so often someone would stop and give some money. Too easy I thought, it is amazing how much money you can make doing this kind of crap. After about 10 minutes and with Tracy’s help, we were up to $40 dollars and went back into the salon.
“Hello.” I said to the guy behind the counter.
“Have enough now Luv.” He said with a laugh.
“Yes.” I said.
“How much did you make?” he asked. He must have been watching us outside.
“Forty Dollars.” I said.
“Not bad.” He said. “Come with me then.” he said motioning towards the salon and I followed him in.
“Take a seat luv.” He said and I took a seat in one of the chairs.
“So what we doing then?” He asked.
“I don’t know, I hate this haircut as my Grandma made me get this stupid haircut on the weekend so I want something that looks cool.” I said.
He put his hand on my head and tilted my head around. “It’s not such a bad haircut, we used to do this one a lot back in the 1970’s.”
“Well I want something more 1986.” I told him.
“All right.” He said. “How about a shorter shape with a buzzed undercut then.” He said.
“Like shaved?” I said.
“Not entirely, just buzzed really short sides and back but longer on top.” He said. I smiled ear to ear and nodded yes.
He was quick to cape me and started pinning my hair up on top leaving the sides and back down. He reached for a pair of black Clippers and turned them on. I could barely hear them over the music but he came around behind me and tilted my head forward.
I felt the clippers touch my neck and slide upwardly, and the sensation sent butterflies through my entire body. He did pass after pass up the back of my head and then around to my right side. I watched as the clippers passed through my hair in the mirror shaving my hair off to about a half an inch in length. He came around my left side and buzzed off all my hair off my left side. I sat their smiling looking at my reflection.
He put the clippers down and unpinned my hair on top and let it fall over the sides and back. He grabbed a spray bottle and started to spray it down. He grabbed a pair of scissors and a comb and started to comb it out.
“I was thinking to cut it the same length as your fringe all the way back and all around luv so it has a bit of an undercut.” He said and I nodded OK.
He combed the right side out and started cutting from my bangs going straight back so it was the same length, just over my right ear, and all the way around the back. And then he cut the left side the same way.
After he put the scissor and comb down and started to dry the top off. He just finger dried it and ruffled it so it was a bit messy.
“I’ll put some gunk in it for you to give it some texture.” He said is he dipped his fingers into a jar of hair product, and came back behind me and ruffled the top up so it was messy, and you could see the buzzed sides and back from underneath it.
He slid the cape off and grabbed a mirror to show me the back.
“So what do you think Luv?” he said holding the mirror. I reached up to feel the back and how short it was.
“I love it.” I told him with a big smile. “FUCK YEA,” I yelled out. “That is sooo much better now.” I said rubbing my hand over the shaved parts.
“Tracy, you have to do this too.” I yelled out as I got up. Tracy came over to take a closer look at mine.
“That is so amazing.” She said as she reached up to feel it.
“I KNOW…” I yelled out over exaggerating the pronunciation. “You totally have to do the same.” I said.
“Take a seat Luv.” The guy told her as he spun the chair to face her and to my surprise she took a seat.
“So what are we doing?” He asked and Tracy sat their quite.
“You should just shave the back and leave it long, like an undercut.” I said.
“OK.” Tracy said smiling.
“An undercut” the stylist said to her to confirm and Tracy nodded yes.
I watched as he sectioned off the back and twisted her long hair up on top of her head. When it was ready he came behind her with the clippers and I watched as they took no time in buzzing off all her hair in the back. It was amazing to watch like 20” of hair slide off to the floor. When he was done he loosened the clips on top and her long hair fell over her newly shaved nape.
“Anything else?” the stylist was saying.
“Bangs too.” I said. “Short ones, like middle of her forehead, and keep the rest long.
“Would you like some bangs Luv?” the stylist asked her. You could tell she was nervous but she gave a weak nod for yes.
He sectioned off her bangs and combed them forward and gave a quick spray with water. We was quick to taking the length off cutting them to just above her eyebrows. He then combed them and snipped away gradually taking them shorter and shorter so that sat perfectly straight across the middle of her forehead, fully exposing her face. They looked amazing on her.
He finished and just dried them off smoothing her new fringe out with a hairbrush. He slid the cape off her and she reached up to feel her undercut turning her head side to side.
“That feels so amazing.” She said feeling her hair. “And I love the fringe.”
She got up and we gave each other a big hug kissing each other on the cheeks. “Thanks Babe” she said as we hugged.
We paid for our haircuts and we had some money left over to have some fun, So we walked down to the Pinball Spot to go hang out and play some Tetris.
I was ready to face a new day at school with an entirely new look and was really happy with it.
“Hey Nathan” we called out to him and he ignored us.
“Come over here.” Tracy called out and Nathan paused in his tracks.
We knew Nathan from school as he is in our same grade. I have last period English class with him.
“What do you want?” Nathan asked as he walked over suspicious of us.
“Is your mom home yet?” Tracy asked.
“No, why?” he said.
“We want to come over.” I said with an evil smile followed by a drag of my cigarette.
“Why?” he asked.
“We want to play.” Tracy said in a cheeky tone. You could tell Nathan was really nervous, but he nodded and we followed him back to his apartment.
Nathan is a quiet kid, he studies a lot more than other kids in the neighbourhood and does well in school. He is not as social and mostly keeps to himself. Tracy and I talked about doing this for a while now, kind of as a joke I guess and figured Nathan would be quit about what we wanted to do. We got back to his apartment and his little brother was home watching TV.
“Go outside and play.” Nathan told him and he protested a bit but grabbed his jacket and went out.
“So what do you guys want to do?” he asked and Tracy and I looked at each other with huge smiles on our faces.
“Nathan.” Tracy said and paused. “We both are going to give you head.” She said straight to the point. His jaw nearly dropped to the floor.
“Go to the bathroom and wash yourself off and get into some clean underwear and meet us back in your bedroom.” I told him.
He got up and ran off to his room and we could hear him rummaging through it. I’ve been over before and knew he shared his room with his little brother as it is a small 2 bedroom apartment they lived in with their mom. We heard him run off into the bathroom and heard the water running and we looked at each other laughing.
“Ready.” Tracy asked me.
“Yep.” I said, and we both got up and made our way to his bedroom and sat down on his bed.
We heard the water stop and the bathroom door open and watched to the bedroom door for Nathan. He came around the corner wearing a white t-shirt and blue boxer shorts. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an approaching car, you could tell he was really nervous.
“Come lie down on the bed.” Tracy said. “But keep your feet on the floor in front.”
Nathan came over and sat on the bed between us, and laid back.
“Put a pillow over your head and no peeking.” I told him and he reached back for a pillow covering his face. Tracy and I looked at each other almost laughing in hysterics. We talked about doing this and I couldn’t believe we were actually going through with it.
We moved in closer and I took the lead and slid his boxers down. We took a close look for the first time. I had seen one a couple of times before but only at a glance really so this was the first time for me to ‘play around’ so to speak.
Tracy was the first to touch it and kind of held it in her fingers holding it up. I wouldn’t really describe it as being hard yet. So I reached to grab it and squeezed it in my hand for a moment and Nathan let out a moan…..
I dropped it immediately and started laughing, Tracy started laughing too and we fell to the floor laughing for a moment and tried to calm down….
“OK.” Tracy said. “ I’ll go first.” And she got up and sat back on the bed. I watched her slide onto the bed and pull her long brown hair back out-of-the-way as she moved in.
I looked over to watch and she was sitting over him and looking at it. She picked it up and held it, and went in and put her mouth around it. My jaw dropped watching. How did she know what to do? was all I could think. We pretended to do this before like with a popsicle, but this time it was for real.
I watched her as her head went up and down and she slowed down a bit running her lips over the end of it, and I could see him trembling.
“OK now your turn.” She said as she stopped, putting her head up flicking her hair back over her shoulders and slid off the bed and onto the floor next to me.
I got up and sat on the edge of the bed. I was so nervous I had butterflies in my stomach. I picked it up and it was a lot harder now then it was a moment ago. I moved in and put my lips around it not really knowing what I was doing. I moved my head up and down sliding my lips over it but pressed my tongue down on the bottom of my mouth to avoid making contact with it. My long blond hair was falling forward around me onto Nathans chest, and made a kind of curtain around my face blocking the view from Tracy seeing anything, which made me feel more comfortable. I just went through the motions of it for about half a minute just so I could say that I did this but didn’t really get into it.
After about 30 seconds I stopped and let it down softly and looked over to Tracy with a smile as I flicked my hair back. She was laughing and we both got up.
“Don’t you dare tell anyone about this.” I said as we left his room.
We ran out of the apartment to the park and jumped on the swings laughing.
“Oh my god, did you see how it grew?” I said.
“I guess it is true what they say about a hard-on.” Tracy said.
We were both so excited and we sat in the swings for the next hour talking about what we just did. This was a first for us.
The next day we went to school and tried to act normal, like nothing happened. We weren’t going to tell anyone about what happened and just keep it to ourselves. It didn’t take long though as around 11am, a girl named Samantha came running up to me in the hall….
“Is it true that you and Tracy had sex with Nathan last night?” she asked.
“What! Where did you hear that?“ I said.
“Bobby told me.” She said looking for an answer.
‘Shit’ I thought to myself. Bobby is Nathan’s cousin. He told Bobby already?
“What you hear?” I asked.
“Bobby said that you and Tracy took turns having sex with Nathan at his house after school.” She said.
“That’s bullshit.” I said. “Nothing happened, I don’t know where this shit is coming from.” I said and walked away. I had to go find Tracy. A rumour had started and it was already way over exaggerated.
I walked quickly and found Tracy at her locker.
“Nathan told Bobby.” I said to her.
“I know.” She said. “I heard.”
“Samantha was asking me about it.” I said. “I told her nothing happened.”
“Good,” Tracy said. “Keep telling people that, we’ll get even with Nathan later.”
I had English class that afternoon and Nathan was in my class. I was so angry that when I got to class I gave him the dirtiest look. One of the other kids saw me doing this and blurted out “Lovers Quarrel???” And others in the class started laughing.
FUUUUUCK I wanted to yell out. I sat down quickly at my chair so embarrassed…..I wanted to wring Nathan’s little neck for this.
“Calm Down people,” Mrs Thompson said as she entered the class to quiet everyone down and start the lesson. At least I get a reprieve for the moment.
After school I hooked up with Tracy as usual and we got on the subway to go back to my place. We didn’t hang out in the courtyard as usual but went back to my apartment instead and hung out in my bedroom.
“I can’t believe he told his cousin,” I said. “Now everyone knows.”
“It doesn’t matter as it is our word against his, we just have to keep denying it ever happened and it will blow over in no time, you’ll see.” Tracy said.
“I suppose.” I said and decided to stop thinking about it.
Later that night Tracy went home when my dad came home from work. He is a tow truck driver and comes and goes quite frequently. My mom lives in Montreal with her new husband and my two step brothers. I get to visit them a few times a year and I like having little brothers.
My Dad comes and goes a lot so he usually makes it home for dinner to check up on me before going back out again. Only this time we were sitting down to dinner when the phone rang.
Dad answered it and I wasn’t really paying attention at first thinking it was a call from his dispatch for a job, until my dad started to sound kind of upset.
“When did this happen?” He said raising his voice. “Yesterday? After School?”
Oh Shit….I thought to myself. That’s Nathan’s fucking Mother on the phone I bet. My heart began pounding really fast and I nearly shit my pants as I listened to my dad talking.
“OK, I will tell her, OK, OK, Thanks for calling, Thanks for letting me know…All right, Good-bye then.” and he hung up.
He was looking straight at me with a mean look on his face.
“That was Nathan’s mom.” He said. “She says you and Tracy were over their after school yesterday.” He said giving a pause, “And you know what she said?”
I broke down and started crying immediately. “I’m sorry daddy.” I said.
“Go to your room, we’ll talk later.” He said and I went off.
I went to my room and climbed into bed and cried for a few minutes, that quickly turned to anger. Nathan told Bobby and Bobby must have been like a little fucking Canary and told everyone. He must have told his brothers and his parents found out, then they called Nathan’s mom and told her and that is how she found out, now even Dad knows about it too. I was so upset at Nathan.
Later Dad came into my room and wasn’t as mad as I thought he would be. He just wanted to hear my side of the story. I told him Tracy and I just went over and we were like 5 minutes, we just wanted to explore and have a little look was all. Nothing else.
“Did he touch either of you.” He asked and I said “no.”
“Are you sure?” He asked
“He didn’t touch either of us.” I assured him.
“OK” dad said. “Thanks for being honest with me. Nathan’s mom says she doesn’t want you or Tracy over their any more, and I don’t want you over their any more either.”
And that was it. I thought he was going to be much worse but he wasn’t After that he made a call to his mom (my grandma) and told her he was worried about me and if I could go and stay with them for the weekend. “It would be good to get her out of the city” was what he told her. “Thanks” he said and hung up the phone.
He went off to work to do a late shift as he usually does so I just watched TV. It was Thursday and my favourite TV night, Cosby Show, followed by Family ties, then Cheers and Night Court. I liked Thursday Nights. Afterwards I went to bed.
Friday after school I took the subway home with Tracy as usual. Told her I was heading up north to spend the weekend with Grandma and Grandpa. When I got home Gran was there waiting for me. She let herself in and had been cleaning the apartment for a while, you could tell. She likes to take care of things for Dad. I went to my bedroom to pack a bag for the weekend.
“Right, so are you ready for the weekend?” She said and I nodded yes. “Then we are off.” She said with a smile.
Gran lives an hour north of the city in a really nice neighbourhood, much better than the low-income projects where Dad and I live, so it was great to get out of the old hood for the weekend.
On the drive to grans she started talking.
“So your dad tells me you and your friend was ‘experimenting’ with a boy this week.” She said.
Ah for fuck sakes I thought to myself, is there anyone that doesn’t know at this point.
“You girls are a little too quick to grow up sometimes and I know with peer pressure and all it can be a little tough growing up at times.”
Here we go with the lecture I thought to myself, half tuning her out. She kept going on about how a girl should be respectable, and respect themselves, and their bodies and blah blah blah…… I would rather stab myself in the eye then listen to another word of this crap from her.
The drive took what felt like an eternity with more words like integrity being thrown at me. She was saying how she was going to teach me to be a better person this weekend and learn respect for myself and others and all I could think was how she had her work cut out for her.
We got to grans house and it was getting late. So Gran decided it best that we all go out for dinner. Gran didn’t approve of what I was wearing from school that day and had some old clothes that my Aunt used to wear when she was younger. She found an old floral dress with long sleeves and puffy shoulders, and a pair of white leather saddle shoes and told me to put them on.
I changed into the dress and put the shoes on and had a look in the mirror. I hated the dress on me but didn’t put up a fight. There was no point as no one knew me in this town any ways So we went out to dinner. She told me at dinner we were going to go shopping tomorrow and get a haircut. It was time to dress more appropriately for a girl my age and a more suitable haircut is required. I couldn’t care less about the clothes as I can always ditch them when I get back to Toronto but the Haircut part is what scared the shit out of me. I loved my long blonde hair the way it was.
After dinner we went back to Grans and I watched TV. Friday Night Television was Webster, followed by Mr Belvedere, then Knight Rider at 9:00. After Knight Rider was over Gran said I had to go to bed. I put up a fight as I wanted to see Miami Vice at 10:00 but she wouldn’t let me.
“We got a big day tomorrow so get rested up dear.” She told me, which made me feel like I was a little kid again. I didn’t argue and just went up to bed.
It is comforting being in this house as it is a quite suburb. I was sleeping in my aunt’s old room and my dad’s old room was next door. I imagined them playing around when they were kids in these old rooms, and how different it was for them. Our neighbourhood in the city is considered not very safe, even when you order a pizza they don’t deliver to our neighbourhood as they’ve been robbed too many times, and you would never see a taxi where I live. So it is very different being up here and comforting for me.
I woke up the next morning to the smell of Bacon through the house and it made my stomach growl. I slipped out of bed and went downstairs to the kitchen to see Gran cooking up scrambled eggs and bacon with toast. Grandpa was at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee reading the paper.
“Good Morning Sunshine” Grandpa said as I entered.
“Oh there she is.” Grandma said with a smile looking over from her cooking.
“Good Morning.” I said.
“Did you sleep OK Dear?” Gran said and I nodded yes sitting down at the table and Gran came over pouring me a cup of Orange Juice.
She made me a plate of Eggs, Bacon and Toast and it must have been the best breakfast I ever had. On the occasional Sunday Mornings Dad and I would make breakfast together but never like this.
“Eat up dear, I’ve made a hair appointment for you at 10:00 this morning so we’ll have to leave in half an hour.” She said.
“OK.” I said not even thinking about it. All I knew was I thought I died and gone to heaven that morning.
After breakfast I went upstairs to change, putting on a Smiths t-shirt and some black jeans and my Cherry Red Doc Marten boots. I came back downstairs to go and Gran was shocked.
“What are you wearing??? And Who are these Smiths???” She said.
“They are a band from England.” I told her. She was looking closer at my t-shirt now.
“Meat Is Murder!!!” She said shockingly reading the slogan off my t-shirt. “I most certainly think not, and you certainly didn’t think so 5 minutes ago when you were shovelling down all that bacon. Go upstairs and put something else on.”
I went upstairs and she followed me into my aunt’s room. She went straight into the closet rummaging through all the old dresses again.
“Here, put this one on.” She said tossing a blue and yellow dress on the bed. “And you can wear the same shoes you wore last night.” She said as she walked out of the room.
I slid my t-shirt off and slid the dress over my shoulders….Oh fuck I thought to myself, this dress is made of fucking polyester. The dress slid down around my body and the polyester felt scratchy on my skin. I kicked off my Docs and slid my jeans off from underneath the dress. I put the saddle shoes back on again and went over to the mirror to take a look. I looked way out of place as this dress looked like it was from the 1970’s.
I pulled my long blonde hair over my shoulders to cover the dress as much as possible thinking my hair took some of the attention away from the dress. So I decided to just wear it, besides Gran made a killer breakfast so let’s just do things her way for today. I went back downstairs and Gran was at the front door waiting for me.
“That’s much better dear….Remember what I was saying about self-respect, no self-respecting girl walks around with Meat Is Murder written on her clothes.”
I followed her out to the car and we drove a few blocks down to a strip mall. She parked and we got out walking towards a shop called Carla’s Beauty Salon. Gran was a few paces in front of me so I followed her to the shop and she opened the door for me. I went in first and she followed.
The salon was really dated. It looked like it was from the 1960’s with lots of pastel colours and old equipment. It had a line of old Dryer Hoods that were behind pink chairs. We took a seat on an old green pastel coloured vinyl sofa in the waiting area.
“Hello Mrs Davis.” A stylist said as she approached the waiting area.
“Hello Carla,” Gran said back, “This is my Grand-daughter Tanya I was telling you about over the phone.”
“Of course.” Carla said. “Nice to meet you, c’mon in.” She said, and we got up and came into the salon.
“Take a seat right here.” Carla said turning a salon chair to face me and I sat down in it. She spun the chair around to face the mirror and I sat they’re looking at my reflection. The chair had pink vinyl upholstery that rubbed against the polyester dress I was wearing pressing it into my skin.
“So what are we doing today?” Carla asked.
“She needs a good clean-up,” Gran said. “something more, respectable for a girl her age.”
“OK” Carla said having a closer look at my hair. “Like a bob perhaps.”
“Can you do something that shows her face a little more?” Gran said.
“Certainly,” Carla said reaching for a hairstyle consultation book and starting rifling through the pages.
“This haircut here is quite becoming don’t you think.” She said showing a page, “Shows off the face quite nicely.” She said pointing to a page to gran and she smiled and nodded with approval.
“Yes,” Gran said. “that one will suit her just fine Carla.”
“Can I see?” I asked as I was trying to look over and Carla tilted the book for me to see what they were looking at.
My heart skipped a beat seeing the picture as they were looking at what is best described as one of the most hideous looking bowl-cuts I have ever seen. The bangs were cut above the eyebrows and the sides sloped at an angle going down towards the back just exposing the ear-lobes…
“No way.” I said looking at it.
“Now dear you need a good haircut and this one is nice and suitable and will show off your face so you are not hiding behind all that hair.” Gran said.
“No way.” I said in shock looking at the picture.
“Let’s not make a fuss.” Carla said standing over me placing a hand on my shoulder to try to calm me down. “For now I’ll just take you over and wash your hair for you, so no cutting or anything, were just going to wash your hair, OK. Then after we can look at doing a haircut for you that will be more suitable for you….OK”
“I just don’t want it cut like that picture.” I told her
“I never said I was going to cut it that way.” She told me. “For now I am just going to wash your hair…..Honestly, such a fuss???” she said shaking her head.
She slowly spun me around so I was facing toward where the shampoo basins were and she put her hand softly on my shoulder again. “Let’s go sweetie, I’ll just do a nice shampoo and conditioner for you alright?”
I quietly stood up and she kept her hand on my shoulder guiding me over to the basins. “Now just take a seat at the first one right here.” She said and I sat down.
She took a towel putting it over my shoulder and I could feel her pull my long hair from under it and into the basin. She put her hand softly on the back of my head and slowly guided my back into the basin and turned the water on. I felt the water rinse through my hair and started to relax. It had been years since my last haircut as I keep it very long and rarely get it cut. I did like the treatment they give you though.
She pumped some shampoo and lathered it into my hair and it smelled like strawberries. I liked the way it smelled and how it felt so I closed my eyes to relax. She put the water back on to rinse the shampoo off and pumped some conditioner in her hands, putting it through my hair. This time the conditioner smelt more like Flowers. She rinsed off the conditioner and tilted my head up, catching my hair with a towel to towel dry it. I liked the way this felt as well.
“OK come with me.” She said and I followed her back to her station. She sat me down and slid a cape over me fastening it around my neck. She grabbed a large black wide tooth comb and started combing my long hair out starting from the ends and worked her way to the roots. When she was done my hair was neatly combed back over my head.
“Right.” She said. “I am going to talk you through this so you will be comfortable with what I am doing. First thing I am going to do is just cut a fringe so you can see what that looks like, and then we can go from there….OK” she said with a big smile.
“I just don’t want it like that picture.” I said again very nervously
“I know,” Carla said. “I didn’t say I was going to cut it like the picture, what I said was I am just going to cut you a fringe so you can see what that looks like on you…OK”
I didn’t say anything as I was too nervous. She reached for a black comb, some scissors and some hair clips and started sectioning off my bangs, taking the long hair on top back out of the way. She combed my bangs straight forward over my face and they reached all the way down past my chin.
“Now look up.” She said as she gently repositioned my head upwards with her hand on top and I closed my eyes. “I will cut the fringe on the long side and we can straighten them up from there OK.”
“OK” I said and took a deep breath.
“Ready.” She said and I nodded.
I heard the scissors close into my hair….SNIP, they moved across and closed into the next section cutting my bangs. I opened my eyes to take a look and my bangs were cut just past my eyebrows reaching to the top of my eyes. Carla stood back to let me have a look.
“How is that?” she asked me, I turned my head side to side and gave a smile. “That’s not so bad now is it?” she asked again with a reassuring smile.
“It’s fine.” I said looking at my new fringe.
“OK, now we’ll just shape them up a little more OK.” Carla said.
“OK” I said feeling a little more at ease.
She came back in sectioning off more hair and combing it forward. I looked up as she pinned my hair back and the new section fell over my face. I closed my eyes again and she came in with the scissors…SNIP SNIP SNIP, they worked their way across my new fringe. I opened my eyes. My fringe was a bit heavier now and she took it a little shorter so they sat just to my eyebrows.
“See isn’t that starting to look better already?” Carla asked. Gran got up and walked over to take a closer look.
“Now I can see her beautiful face, she is an angel underneath all that hair.” Gran said as she was looking on and I just smiled.
“So I can just add a little more hair to your fringe then so it frames it better.” Carla said and I nodded nervously. “Just relax now as this is looking better and better already.” She said as she stated combing out another, much larger section.
She had this next section combed forward and the rest of my hair pinned back and I was starting to tremble with nerves seeing how much more hair she was going to cut.
“Head up sweetie.” She said as she softly tilted my head up with her hand on my head, “That’s it.” She said and I just took in a deep breath and closed my eyes.
I felt her combing out my hair and finally heard the scissors cut away at different places around my face. A snip here and a snip there and could hear long locks of hair coming off and sliding down the cape. I opened my eyes to see and Carla was standing right in front of me, blocking my view of the mirror.
“That’s a good girl,” She said as I looked up at her. “Now just tilt your head to the side a little for me.” She said as she guided my head over to the left still standing in front of me blocking my view.
I felt the scissors slide up my cheek bones towards my temples and heard them close as they moved upwards towards my bangs…snip snip snip, and I could see locks of my hair sliding down the cape in my peripheral vision.
She tilted my head the other over to the right and I felt as she made a section on the other side, and the scissors moved in following the same patch up my cheekbone towards my temple…Snip Snip Snip.
She adjusted my head so it was straight again and I could feel her combing more of my hair forward. She was still standing between me and the mirror blocking my view, so I sat there very nervously looking into the front of her blouse thinking how ugly she was.
She came in with the scissors so I closed my eyes again and heard them snipping away all around the front of my face and could feel this haircut starting to frame my face. This was when I realized she was beginning to cut it exactly like the picture and was just easing me into it all along. She was tricking me into it more like it.
She finished cutting and stepped to the side and I could finally see my reflection, and just as I thought. My hair was starting to take shape of that hideous bowl-cut, but now it was past the point of no return as most of the front of my hair has already been cut, leaving just the back long. I felt heartbroken looking at my reflection knowing it was now too late.
“There we go, now it’s starting to take shape already.” Carla said
“Perfect” Gran said with a smile standing behind me as she was looking on.
I didn’t say anything anymore as she tilted my head forward to finish up the haircut on me. She sectioned off the back and I felt the scissors sliding across the back of my neck and Snip, Snip Snip, they worked their way across the back taking off all my long hair.
She sectioned off one section at a time on the back and swiftly chopped it off until all my long hair was gone. She then tilted my head straight over to the left and neatly cut the line in the haircut from the back all the way over my earlobe, up my cheek and to my temple where the line met my bangs.
She tilted my head over to the right and cut the left side exactly the same way until the haircut was a perfect shape around my head. She tilted my head up again and trimmed away at my bangs a little more until they were a more rounded shape with the sides and there were cut above my eyebrows completely exposing them now.
She finally finished cutting now and put the comb and scissors down and grabbed the hair-dryer At first she was just running her fingers through my hair with the hair dryer to get more of the wetness out of it but eventually picked up a hairbrush and started styling it my turning the ends under all away around the perimeter of the haircut. The more she brushed with the brush and hairdryer the more volume she got out of it with the ends turned perfectly under all the way around. I was frustrated watching this bowl-shape forming around my head.
Carla put the brush and dryer down and grabbed a bottle of hairspray and gave it a light spray to hold the shape. She then took a mirror and stood behind me to reveal the haircut from the back. I wanted to burst into tears looking at it and I couldn’t believe this was me. My long blonde hair was all over the floor now and I had a little blonde Mushroom Cut now with my hair a puffed up and curled under.
“Don’t worry sweetie, you’ll get used to it.” she said as she put the mirror back. She loosened the cape and dusted my neck off with a dusting brush and I felt so bare, with my neck and cheeks fully exposed. Gran came over standing over me to take a closer look.
“That’s much better.” She said with a smile. “How do you like it?” She asked me.
“It’s too short.” Was all I could say.
“ She’ll get used to it.” Carla said one more time.
I got up and walked back to the front of the salon as Gran paid for the haircut. We went out together and it felt so bizarre with the sun shining on my cheeks and on my neck with no hair to cover me any more and the feeling of the breeze on my neck.
Next we got in the car for what ended up being hours of shopping for clothes I absolutely hated. Little dresses and shoes and the sort of thing you would wear to church. I was annoyed but I didn’t put up much of a fight as it wasn’t worth it. I knew I can just toss the clothes into the back of my closet when I get home, if anything this is just Gran wasting money as I was never going to wear any of these outfits.
By the time we got back to Grans that night and with my new clothes Gran had my wearing I felt like a Norman Rockwell painting and not a girl from the hood any more If my friends from the hood saw me like this I would never see the light of day.
That Saturday Night we sat around the living room where Gran taught me how to play Cribbage for the first time. We watched Gimme A Break and Facts of Life followed by The Golden Girls on the TV that night as we played. I wasn’t upset with her any more but still hated my haircut so something was going to have to be done about that before I got back to school. I’d figure it out later and not worry about it for now.
We stayed up later and watched The Love Boat which was rare for me as I am usually out causing trouble in the Neighbourhood on a Saturday Night with Tracy. I was wondering what she was up to tonight and what she was going to say about my hair when I get back. I needed her advice on what to do with it.
The next morning Grandma made breakfast again, this time Waffles. After Grandpa and Grandma and I went to church and spent the afternoon walking through a park and seeing the blossoms and tulips come out. This was the sort of day I rarely got.
Later Dad drove up to get me and we all had a Sunday dinner together. He nearly fell over when he saw me dressed up in one of my new dresses and my new haircut.
“What did you do with my Daughter???” He said as he saw me. He liked it but I was going to give him an earful on the ride home about it.
After dinner we left for the drive back home and I let him have it. “What was the big idea behind all of that??? You just can’t take a girl out of the hood and drop her off in the suburbs like that, if my friends saw me like this I would never be allowed to show me face in public again.
“It’s not that bad.” He said.
“NOT THAT BAD….I look like a freakin Mushroom for fucks sake.”
“Yeah you kind of do.” He said with a laugh and I punched him in the shoulder as hard as I could.
“Look, I just wanted you to get away from the city and spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa as I was getting worried about you is all. I asked her to teach you some respect but I didn’t think she was going to do all that to you, well I should have known I guess as she is a persistent one. Don’t worry, I had my share of bad haircuts growing up too, and so did you aunt.” He said laughing.
“It’s not funny.” I said.
“I think it will do you some good actually.” He said.
“ I’m not going to school like this.” I told him.
“I don’t care what you wear but you are not missing school because of a haircut.”
“Yes I am.”
“Oh no you’re not, even if I have to take you there myself, I’ll even stand outside your classes to make sure you go.”
“You big meanie.” I called him and pouted with my arms crossed.
“That’s right.” He said with a smile. “Mwa ha ha ha haaa.” He belted out an evil laugh to show it and I laughed back.
“By the way, I talked to Nathan yesterday.” Dad said
“Oh shit, you didn’t.”
“No no no, nothing like that. We just talked.”
“What you say.”
“Made sure he understood I wasn’t upset with him, well I intimidated him just a little, but he is a good kid, not much like him on our block so best to look after those ones you know. He is a smart kid. He said.
“Who are you, and what have you done with my father?” I said with a laugh.
“I know, you would have thought I would have beaten the kid to a pulp, well some of those other kids I would have. Were all good though, I just think you should go talk to him as things may not be what they seem to you right now is all.”
“Thank-you Daddy.” I said squeezing his arm where I punched him. I felt a lot better now.
The next day I got up and got ready for school I put on my Smiths, Meat Is Murder t-shirt as a Fuck-You to Gran and whatever that stupid lesson about clothes she was trying to teach me. I slid on my black Levis Jeans and my Doc Martin boots to finish off the look.
I sat in front of my mirror trying to figure out what to do with my hair and decided it wasn’t so bad. It was kind of a retro look but I ruffled it up a bit with my fingers so it didn’t sit so bowl-like. There wasn’t much I could do with it as it would just fall back into its bowl-like shape again. So I just kind of got into the habit of ruffling it up here and there to break up the shape as much as I could.
I left to walk to the subway to meet Tracy as usual and she was outside smoking a cigarette.
“Gimme one of those.” I said as I came up behind her. Tracy turned around and saw me.
“Holy shit, what happened to your hair???” She yelled out.
“You like it?” I asked as I ruffled it.
“It’s so short.” She said reaching up to feel it.
“I know, my Gran made me get a haircut.” I said taking a cigarette from Tracy and taking a light from her lighter and took a drag. “It’s not so bad.” I said as I exhaled. “But I am thinking of cutting it even shorter, what do you think?”
“Go for it.” Tracy said. “It is already this short so might as well.”
“Yea the lady that cut it was kind of crap as this was out in the suburbs, so I am thinking of just going downtown and getting something better.” I said. “Want to go downtown with me for a haircut after school?”
“Hell Yea.” Tracy said.
We finished our cigarettes and went into the subway to head to school. It was awkward walking through the halls as I could feel everyone turning their heads to look at me. I just wanted to scream walking the hallways at school. When I got to my locker Nathan was waiting for me.
“What the fuck do you want?” I said as I was opening my locker.
“Look, we need to talk.” He said.
“I have nothing to say to you.” I told him.
“Let me explain what happened.” He said.
I slammed my locker shut and started walking ignoring him.
“I didn’t tell anyone what happened.” He said and I stopped walking and turned around.
“Then how the fuck does everyone know then.” I said.
“My little brother was spying from outside, remember I told him to go outside and play?” He said.
I rolled my eyes shaking my head….”Little fucker.” I said.
“I just wanted you to know that it wasn’t me that said anything and I could never do something like that to you,” he said. “and I am sorry.”
“Well it doesn’t matter now I suppose, damage is already done…I didn’t realize.” I said and gave him a hug.
We hugged for just a moment when a kid walking past yelled out “Get A Room!!!”
I turned and gave him the finger mouthing the words “FUCK-OFF”
“I really am sorry.” Nathan said one more time.
“Like I said it doesn’t matter, damage is already done. So best you can do right now is walk me to class, OK.” I said holding my hand out for him and he held it as we walked.
“You got a haircut.” He said as we walked.
“That’s your fault too by the way.” I said. “My Gran made my cut it, she was trying to teach me to be a more respectable girl.” I said sarcastically
“ I’m so very sorry about all of this.” He said again as he slowed his pace and we stopped. “I wish I could change everything for you.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I said looking into his eyes. “It’s already been done so no point worrying about it. Tracy and I are going after school to get it fixed and you are welcome to come too if you like?”
“I’d love to.” He said and we started walking again. We got to my first period class and I kissed him on the cheek. “See you at English.” I said and went into class.
School was annoying with the ‘Oh you got a haircut’ comments , and the condescending, “That looks really good on you.” that I just wanted to punch everyone that said that. I couldn’t wait for school to finish so we could go downtown and get it cut properly.
It got worse when I saw Samantha. She belted out with laughter when she saw me. “Was that your punishment?” she said laughing at me. “Your new haircut makes you look like a dickhead.” She said.
“Fuck-off.” I told her.
“No seriously, look at it.” She said. “You look exactly like a fucking dickhead.” She said laughing. “It has the exact same shape. Look everyone, the perfect punishment for sucking cock.” She yelled out laughing. “A dickhead haircut, that way everyone will know what you did.”
I wanted to punch her so badly but just walked off. She told everyone and people started calling me dickhead for a while. It was so embarrassing. By the time I got to English the rumour was all over the place. The kid that said “Get A Room” last week yelled “DickHead” when I walked into the class. Nathan stood up and told him to ‘shut the fuck up..” I loved him for standing up for me.
After class we met Tracy at her locker and told her Nathan wanted to come….
“Really!” She said laughing. “Why?”
“Because I want him to, and you don’t get to touch him any more, he’s off limits to you now.” I said.
“OKAY.” She said sarcastically.
Nathan dropped his stuff off at his locker and we jumped on the subway downtown. We got off at Yonge Street and started walking south. There was a funky hair salon that I wanted to go to, they always had loud music blasting out of there when you walked past.
We found the place and went inside to talk to the guy in the front, he had long messy black hair and had on black eyeliner, “How much for a haircut?” I yelled out to be heard over the music.
“Fifteen Dollars” the guy said with a thick English accent.
We stepped off to the side “How much money have we got?” I asked and we added up all our money together. Between Tracy and I we had $8,
“How much money you got Nathan?” I asked and he said nothing shaking his head….
“Fuckit… I’m going to pan for it.” I said and went out to the street corner with them following me.
“Spare any change…. I am so huuungry.” I would say to the people walking past. Every so often someone would stop and give some money. Too easy I thought, it is amazing how much money you can make doing this kind of crap. After about 10 minutes and with Tracy’s help, we were up to $40 dollars and went back into the salon.
“Hello.” I said to the guy behind the counter.
“Have enough now Luv.” He said with a laugh.
“Yes.” I said.
“How much did you make?” he asked. He must have been watching us outside.
“Forty Dollars.” I said.
“Not bad.” He said. “Come with me then.” he said motioning towards the salon and I followed him in.
“Take a seat luv.” He said and I took a seat in one of the chairs.
“So what we doing then?” He asked.
“I don’t know, I hate this haircut as my Grandma made me get this stupid haircut on the weekend so I want something that looks cool.” I said.
He put his hand on my head and tilted my head around. “It’s not such a bad haircut, we used to do this one a lot back in the 1970’s.”
“Well I want something more 1986.” I told him.
“All right.” He said. “How about a shorter shape with a buzzed undercut then.” He said.
“Like shaved?” I said.
“Not entirely, just buzzed really short sides and back but longer on top.” He said. I smiled ear to ear and nodded yes.
He was quick to cape me and started pinning my hair up on top leaving the sides and back down. He reached for a pair of black Clippers and turned them on. I could barely hear them over the music but he came around behind me and tilted my head forward.
I felt the clippers touch my neck and slide upwardly, and the sensation sent butterflies through my entire body. He did pass after pass up the back of my head and then around to my right side. I watched as the clippers passed through my hair in the mirror shaving my hair off to about a half an inch in length. He came around my left side and buzzed off all my hair off my left side. I sat their smiling looking at my reflection.
He put the clippers down and unpinned my hair on top and let it fall over the sides and back. He grabbed a spray bottle and started to spray it down. He grabbed a pair of scissors and a comb and started to comb it out.
“I was thinking to cut it the same length as your fringe all the way back and all around luv so it has a bit of an undercut.” He said and I nodded OK.
He combed the right side out and started cutting from my bangs going straight back so it was the same length, just over my right ear, and all the way around the back. And then he cut the left side the same way.
After he put the scissor and comb down and started to dry the top off. He just finger dried it and ruffled it so it was a bit messy.
“I’ll put some gunk in it for you to give it some texture.” He said is he dipped his fingers into a jar of hair product, and came back behind me and ruffled the top up so it was messy, and you could see the buzzed sides and back from underneath it.
He slid the cape off and grabbed a mirror to show me the back.
“So what do you think Luv?” he said holding the mirror. I reached up to feel the back and how short it was.
“I love it.” I told him with a big smile. “FUCK YEA,” I yelled out. “That is sooo much better now.” I said rubbing my hand over the shaved parts.
“Tracy, you have to do this too.” I yelled out as I got up. Tracy came over to take a closer look at mine.
“That is so amazing.” She said as she reached up to feel it.
“I KNOW…” I yelled out over exaggerating the pronunciation. “You totally have to do the same.” I said.
“Take a seat Luv.” The guy told her as he spun the chair to face her and to my surprise she took a seat.
“So what are we doing?” He asked and Tracy sat their quite.
“You should just shave the back and leave it long, like an undercut.” I said.
“OK.” Tracy said smiling.
“An undercut” the stylist said to her to confirm and Tracy nodded yes.
I watched as he sectioned off the back and twisted her long hair up on top of her head. When it was ready he came behind her with the clippers and I watched as they took no time in buzzing off all her hair in the back. It was amazing to watch like 20” of hair slide off to the floor. When he was done he loosened the clips on top and her long hair fell over her newly shaved nape.
“Anything else?” the stylist was saying.
“Bangs too.” I said. “Short ones, like middle of her forehead, and keep the rest long.
“Would you like some bangs Luv?” the stylist asked her. You could tell she was nervous but she gave a weak nod for yes.
He sectioned off her bangs and combed them forward and gave a quick spray with water. We was quick to taking the length off cutting them to just above her eyebrows. He then combed them and snipped away gradually taking them shorter and shorter so that sat perfectly straight across the middle of her forehead, fully exposing her face. They looked amazing on her.
He finished and just dried them off smoothing her new fringe out with a hairbrush. He slid the cape off her and she reached up to feel her undercut turning her head side to side.
“That feels so amazing.” She said feeling her hair. “And I love the fringe.”
She got up and we gave each other a big hug kissing each other on the cheeks. “Thanks Babe” she said as we hugged.
We paid for our haircuts and we had some money left over to have some fun, So we walked down to the Pinball Spot to go hang out and play some Tetris.
I was ready to face a new day at school with an entirely new look and was really happy with it.
Posted in Uncategorized
Posted by: haircutsrevisited | July 16, 2012
Crossroads
Posted by: haircutsrevisited | July 16, 2012
